Bookish Musings: Top 5 Strangest Book Reviews I’ve Written (2)


So it turns out these posts are a lot of fun. When I posted the first one of these strangest reviews posts, I was worried you all wouldn’t enjoy it, but you did! And I enjoyed it too! So here are five more strange book reviews from yours truly 🙂

The one in which I email an author

Steal the Light by Lexi Blake

I kid you not, I once emailed the author to fangirl and ask her… a really strange question about how two of the characters’ relationship progressed . . . . (Ok, fine, if you must know, I asked her if they’re sleeping together now, which honestly isn’t as inappropriate of a question as it sounds if you’ve read the series. She was super nice in her reply, by the way! And yes, they are sleeping together, in case you were wondering.)


The one in which I Make Epic Analogies

The Lightning-Struck Heart by TJ Klune

But Sam was the most awkward and flaily. He was like if Tumblr and internet memes had a baby.


The one in which I yell at Milo

Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle by Amy Fecteau

Talk about a slow burn. I believe the anticipation of things is half the fun. So yes, please do torture me by drawing out the romance until I feel like I’m going to explode if they don’t JUST KISS ALREADY AND DAMMIT, MILO, COULD YOUR TIMING WITH INTERRUPTIONS BE ANY WORSE???

Not only that, Matheus and Quin made the perfect couple. And by couple, I mean not a couple. And by perfect, I mean they constantly bickered and only half-teasingly threatened to maim each other (as you do when you’re a vampire).


The one in which I have priorities

Hotblood! A Centaur in the Old West by Toril Orlesky

So the first and most important thing… a centaur main character! A gay centaur main character! A gay centaur main character in the Old West! Whaaaaaaaat? I know, right?


The one in which I show you all my twisted side

Teeth: The First Bite by Chele Cooke

But never before had I read about a vampire actually learning how to feed. It’s probably twisted to laugh at a scene in which an innocent person dies, but it was just way too funny seeing Thomas miss the artery a bunch of times and then maul the guy’s neck. I loved it.


Talk to me!

What's the strangest book review you've ever written?
Have you ever emailed an author to ask them something about their book/characters?


Your Thoughts


44 thoughts on “Bookish Musings: Top 5 Strangest Book Reviews I’ve Written (2)

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  1. Greg

    Ooh I know the name Lexi Blake, and yay for her replying and being cool and all that. You know it probably made her day actually, authors gotta love it when fans ship or wonder about their love life enough to email. And you got a good answer too. 🙂

    I rather like the centaur one. And I think I remember the feeding one, I probably laughed? I can just see some newb vamp missing the artery and making a total mess. Poor victim…

    1. Kristen Burns

      I do talk about Lexi Blake’s books a lot lol. But yeah, it probably does make authors happy when they get emails like that because it means the readers are really invested in their stories! And I did get a good answer, haha.

      Luckily the victim was already knocked out at that point, or yeah, it would’ve really been horrible and probably not as funny lol.

  2. Let's Get Beyond Tolerance

    Hah! I really do love these. I have written an author on Goodreads and asked them questions about their book/characters. I have to know these things! I LOVE that you asked an author if her characters were now sleeping together. That’s fantastic.


    1. Kristen Burns

      Thanks! Sometimes there are things we just have to know! And honestly, it really isn’t inappropriate or even that strange when you take the series into consideration, but it still felt strange emailing an author to ask specifically that lol.

  3. Kate

    This is hilarious! I loved it. Emailing the author is probably my favorite. I wonder how many people have asked him/her the same question.

  4. The Orangutan Librarian

    hehehe I love that you emailed an author with that question LOL! And that was such a hilarious comment about the vampires- I never thought about that before and I reckon I’d find it funny too!

  5. Lilyn George

    This is fun. I think my reviews are too boring to do something like this. 🙁

    I can’t believe you emailed the author asking if the characters were sleeping together. ROFL!

    1. Kristen Burns

      I feel like every post on your blog is the opposite of boring lol. You’re always cracking me up!

      Yep! Honestly I probably wasn’t even the first person to ask that, hahaha.

  6. Lola

    I am glad you decided to do another post of strangest reviews you’ve written as I enjoyed the first one. There are always parts that aren’t in the books, so it’s nice you can ask the author in that case. And Sam sounds kinda adorable with how you describe him.

    I love slow burns, I don’t find good slow burn reads nearly often enough for my taste, I love that type of frustration where you keep hoping they will finally kiss and then get annoyed when they get interrupted. But it’s the best when they finally do. The wait always is worth it.

    And now you have me curious about that book with a gay centaur main character. That’s definitely something you don’t find often in books.

    And that does sound realistic with the scene where the vampire learn how to feed and a bit gruesome and sad for the poor victim. I vaguely remember once reading a book with a similar scene, but can’t remember more than that.

    1. Kristen Burns

      Yep, it’s great when authors are nice and actually respond, even to crazy fangirl emails, haha. Sam was pretty adorable lol.

      The book had one of my fave slow burns! It was definitely worth the wait! (Though it’s not a series I’d rec for you, unfortunately, cuz of the graphic-ness.)

      Seriously, you don’t even see centaurs period!

      The victim was at least knocked out when all this was happening. Probably wouldn’t have been so funny if he wasn’t lol.

  7. Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight

    I am laughing at YOU laughing at the poor dead vampire victim bwhahah. And the centaur thing is… oddly specific? I love that you emailed the author to ask about the characters’ sex lives too hahah these kill me! Also, I have a kid named Sam and he is seriously that exact person, and now I am going to call him that 😀

    These are so fun, thanks for sharing them again!!

    1. Kristen Burns

      Lol I mean really though, how do all these vampires know exactly where the artery is the first time?! Haha your son sounds awesome.

      Thanks, glad you like them!

  8. Laura

    Haha, I love that you emailed the author to ask how the characters were getting on after the book! It’s good that she was cool about it and actually gave you answers! Sometimes you just need to know these things 🙂

  9. Sam @ Spines in a Line

    I love these posts! It’s so interesting getting to revisit what you’ve written. I feel like I said in your last post that I would try this myself (and still haven’t :/) but now I’m even more excited to try! Soon!

  10. Olivia Roach

    I actually laughed about the last one – where the vampire is learning to feed. I guess I have read that in Twilight and some others but it is more so learning to hunt and not particularly learning how to feed? So I guess it’s not exactly the same. I love that you emailed the author to know how things progressed – that is SO something I would end up doing as well.

    1. Kristen Burns

      Glad I’m not the only twisted one 😉 I don’t think I had ever read about the vampire learning to actually feed either. Haha, sometimes we just need to know things!