When I was a kid, there were only two things I constantly pretended to be, and one of them was a mermaid. I used to spread my parents' blue comforter out on their floor and drag myself around on it, pretend it was the ocean. In our little pool, and even in my grandparents' hot tub, I'd pretend I was, well, essentially a mermaid veterinarian, helping all the injured sea creatures. I don't really...